Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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