The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
