What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
