i jhust puked up my retainher.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the raccoons are back...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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