How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
