i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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