She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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