She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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