wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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