So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it because I queefed?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
