...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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