Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
