i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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