I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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