There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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