'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
