Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
