My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize