dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
3pm strippers are depressing
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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