I'm really into asian looking animals
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize