I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Say something about gay babies.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
