Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
