Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize