I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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