She is in my trunk
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
