the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
