could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
