I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have already put on my inside pants.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
