dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
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