Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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