If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
