the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
