we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
