belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
