ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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