I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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