I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
