It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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