In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
