she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
