We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
