No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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