therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
