I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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