Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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