My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
