I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
