I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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