you guys were way drunker than both of me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
