Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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