You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
