I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
