my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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