just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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