At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize