And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
