We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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