he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
