How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
