I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
